A little overdue bass maintenance

I’ve been playing a bit more bass lately. Much less frustrating for me than guitar. This is a wacky little 1968 SD Curlee short scale. My bass teacher had one of these and I found one on ebay a while ago. Its a neat little thing. Put on the first set of new strings in years. Cleaned up the maple neck and fingerboard with my favorite bees wax and turpentine mix. It works well and I just love the way it smells.
In fact, if the World Turpentine Council ever needs a spokesperson, I’m applying. I have my Billy Mays style infomercial all ready to go…
What if I told you that you that there was a product that could clean wood… and condition it… at the same time! I know what you’re thinking… Dave, there’s no way… But wait, there’s more… After a hard day of wood cleaning and conditioning, there’s no need to shower… this miracle product doubles as a unisex fragrance! Right from work to a night out on the town… there’s no telling what adventures are in store when you smell like this!
Unleash the power of Turpentine!

A bit much???